Everything has a conclusion

Since I first started my first blog, many things have changed like my mentality, my perception of life, and most importantly my mindset. One of these changes was my perception of soccer, I thought I really liked playing soccer, but to be honest I noticed that I love playing soccer for fun because when someone doesn't trust me or doesn't have enough trust in me, soccer doesn't feel the same. However, thanks to soccer I got to meet new people, new places, and new experiences. One thing that I found out that I really don't like being alone because I really thought that I like being alone but actually I love being alone for a certain amount of time to meditate or dedicate time to myself, but being alone for more than a month is really something that I thought I would enjoy but actually is the opposite.

However, there have been good things despite the hard times. For example, meeting new people that some are really good friends that I hope to have in the future, and also having fun, having time to be alone and meditate, and it might have not been the best semester I ever had, but for sure is not the worst. I was able to meet new places like Prescott or Yuma, and my soccer season didn't end the way I wanted but I believe that better things are about to come. Thanks to soccer I was able to meet one of my idols which is a Honduran professional soccer player Roger Espinoza, which is a friend of my coach. I have enjoyed every single minute that I spend at school and with the team because those are unique experiences that you live just once in your life and there is no point in putting all my thoughts with the negative things. To support all of these things is the opinion of some of my closest friends and family, they said that it had been a good time for me, even when things didn't go as I thought they would. 

My mom in Honduras is having a really good time with the family and she's always saying people the good things that had happened to and I feel good when people say that they are proud of me, but they just see one part of the story but they don't some things that might not seem that cool. My mom says that to make everything better, she will bring me a lot of roquillas and hojaldras. 

I feel that this final blog so far feels like I'm finishing a cycle because these blogs had been there to help me out to sometimes let my emotions go just say what I want to say, a way to relieve myself. I know that some of my classmates are just doing the blogs for the credits and they might not care a lot, and to be honest, at the beginning I was doing it for credit too, but now I feel that these blogs had helped me to grow mentally and I see them differently. I might not be the best writer or the best one doing blogs but I really enjoyed doing them and I know that in the future when I looked back at them, flashbacks will come to me and they will make me remember and feel what I wrote in them. Maybe some people will say that this is kind of dumb but in my opinion, everyone sees things differently and everyone grows in a different way. 

I feel that my life so far has been like a roller coaster with a lot of ups and downs, but every moment I was trying to learn the good things from them. If I had to resume the best thing that had happened this year, it would be when I signed my contract for GCC, and the person who has been inspirational to me was Alberth Ellis. I know that there are better things that will come and I might not be ready for them, but I will try to enjoy them and learn from them because I know that those experiences will help me to grow as a better person and the things that had helped me to be where I'm, I will never forget them because thanks to all the things that happened either good or bad, I'm here thanks to them and if I could come back in future and change things, I would take the same choices I have taken because I would choose to be where I'm 100 times and I will never regret it. Some people would correct the mistakes that they have done but if they did that where would they be now? would they be happy? Everything is left to your opinion.

 

Being alone is not that bad

 This week has been a really awkward week, and the particular reason for this is because my parents left me for a whole month by myself. My mom had to attend some important appointment in Honduras but I couldn't go because of school and soccer. I feel really glad for her because she hasn't been there in 16 years, but at the same time, I feel a little alone now that I'm home alone as in the movie lol (Home Alone). My cousin is here too but he's working and it doesn't feel the same because he doesn't spend much time at home and when he is here, he is always with his girlfriend which is not bad but I feel lonely sometimes because my mom and I were almost all the time at home and now is just me and my cat. 

Now I know how this guy felt lol 

My friend said that I should be happy and I really am, but the only thing that they don't see is that I would like to be with her too. Now, I have a lot of time to meditate and be alone which is good but sometimes I get bored, and one thing I do to distract myself is doing community service for my scholarship and for fun. Where I go to do community service is in Halo Animal Rescue at Scottdale, and doing this, makes me feel better because I enjoy spending time with animals, and to be honest is a good way to release stress and have some fun, because who doesn't like puppies and kitties? The only negative thing about this is that I get too attached to the pets and sometimes I want to take them home with me but I can't lol :'(. 

Some people say that I should take advantage of being alone but to be honest, I will rather be alone than making a party, not because I don't like them, but because I don't feel like it. My cousin thinks that I'm depressed but I believe that is just because I'm alone most of the time, also some friends stopped talking to me, which now that I think about it, they don't seem like real friends now. Things are a little different now but I think that is for a good reason, but like always, new things are difficult to adapt to. I believe that I will just have to live one day at a time, not thinking about what will happen tomorrow just enjoying what I have now and ignoring the negative things. 

Now that I have a lot of time to be alone at home, I might try to find new hobbies or maybe just try to enjoy the things that my mom used to enjoy at home, like watering the plants. I will be in my mom's shoes for a while, which is going to be a good way to get out of my comfort zone, which is something good to do once in a while. I will probably don't have much time to be with my friends which some people will say that it shouldn't be like that but, I just want to take a break from my routine and try new things or stop doing some things for a while and see how I'm going to be. Maybe these are some obstacles that life is putting in my way to make me stronger which I love challenges and this one is going to be one of the hardest, in my opinion, but the impossible things are more likely to achieve than we think. 

Everyone is looking at us

 This week the GCC soccer team made the playoffs, and that is something that has not happened in the last 10 years. Everyone on the team is really excited and they are working hard to have a good development in the playoffs.  Our coach says that he knew this going to happen and that the playoff is just the first step because he is respecting more things from us, he says that the teams can easily make it to Nationals, and that is our goal for this year. The teams that we have played with said that we have a great team, but there are some people that thinks that this was just luck, that we played against easy teams, but the reality is that we had a rough season, we had a tough time but thanks to those fails, we became a stronger and better team. 

To be honest, I haven't played much this season, but that is something that doesn't bother me because I rather not play much if it means that the team will have a performance. There are some people from outside that say that I wasn't important for the team, but I believe that if I was not important for the team, I would not be here. They see me as not an important part of the team, but I see myself as part of a family, without me the team would not be the same, it doesn't mean that I'm the best player, but someone who is important for everyone on the team. 

I see myself having a good season, even when sometimes I'm not 100% ready mentally to play or to be with the team because sometimes that happens to me, I lose concentration really easily when it comes to important events. If someone ever reads this, what do you do to concentrate before an important event? That would really help me a lot. 

What I do before an important event is just listen to music and eat my favorite chips Zambos which is a typical chip from Honduras. Being an athlete that is not that good but sometimes because I'm nervous I don't know what to do. Some people say that I should clear my mind and just mentally see myself at the event, doing great, and having a positive mindset, but sometimes I don't know how to do it. This has affected me a lot because sometimes I don't get called up because I am not mentally ready, and that is something that I would like to change. 

Sometimes this makes me have a negative mindset, even sometimes some of my teammates think that I might not be good enough to be there, but I just try to ignore that and just try to do my best to show them that I deserve to be with them. Some of them think that I'm lucky to be there, but I think is not luck but hard work and discipline, because before coming to play soccer I just wanted to focus on my career, but the coach told me that I have talent, that I might not be the best, that I might have to work twice as hard to be important in the team. Now I just try to ignore what everyone says and just try my best, even when sometimes I do things wrong I blame myself, and punish myself, and some people around me just tell me to forget about it and just try again, and that has been the best advice that someone has told me this week. Even though I'm happy for the team, I'm not happy because I feel that I was not important to achieve that goal, but that's is something that I have to learn how to overcome. 

Trying to Improve

 These past few weeks have been good, I'm not going to say they were the best, but I would say they were okay. Since last week, I have to take my cousin to his job, because he sold his car, and now I have to give him a ride, sometimes it is annoying because he wakes me up at 5 in the morning which sometimes is really stressful, but we get along really well, so we have a good time on the way to his job. We talk a lot, and we have trust in each other, and that's why we talk about our lives, our future, and things like that. Lately, we have been talking a lot about how our lives were in Honduras because we didn't live together or we were not as close as we are now, and how our lives changed when we came here. 

This time we came out with the same topic of how lucky I'm but this time I percept something different when he told me that, I felt that he wanted to make me see that I have everything I need and that I don't be chasing things that I don't need. For example, he told me that why would I be looking for a girlfriend when I don't need it, and I believe that is true. He says that I have an amazing house, amazing parents, a good car, why would I be chasing something that is not my dream. The words that he told changed my mindset, I could say that I see things a little differently.

Lately, I have been looking for different things, but I never stopped to think about if they were the right things to look for. Since then, I stopped looking for what I wanted and now I'm looking for what I need to complete my goal. Now I try to focus on the things that should really matter to me like school, and soccer, that's everything I need to be focus on because I need to add to complete my goal and for example, a relationship instead of adding will be stopping or subtracting from achieving my goal because it will take time and concentration that I could be used on the school. 

I have been trying to concentrate more in classes and while I work on my assignments but it is been hard lately but my mom told me a method to relax and improve my productivity which is called deep breathing. In the beginning, I thought that it would not work, but I tried and it actually did, instead of stressing because  I didn't know something, I didn't worry about it, I just started thinking and if nothing didn't come to my mind I just let it go until I find out something to come with. I'm not that type of person, every time I have a problem I want to solve it at that moment. My mom also made me read again, to release stress she said, my favorite writer, is John Green and my favorite book from him is The Fault In Our Stars, and to be honest I would recommend it 100%. 

Yesterday my mom did pupusas and they were amazing, I'm not gonna lie, my mom makes the best food ever. That food made my day better yesterday because I was mad because we lost a game on Monday, and I felt bad and sad, but at the end of the day, my mom turned my whole bad day, into an amazing one. I believe that even when I have bad days there is always one person that will try to make me see that not everything is dark, that I chose to be happy, and that improving is not something that I have to do, is something that I chose to do, because I decide who I'm and who I will be, no matter how negative my mindset is, improving is always an option. 

I don't share the same feeling

 This week has been a regular week for me, it wasn't bad but it wasn't good either but I still living everyday day by day. I don't feel like that but sometimes I just don't have good like everyone but it's okay, it's part of life. However, there were great things that happened this week like we won our game 6-2 against Gateway, my mom and dad made remembered me that they are proud of me for my progress here, for what I have done to be where I'm and that made my week. 

This week I got injured during practice and I have been trying to recover as soon as possible to play with the team, but the coach told me to take it easy, that I should rest to be 100% when the time is correct. I have been running every day, I go to the gym, I eat well, I get enough sleep, and rest, to make everything faster.  People around me say that I should be happy because my team won, and I'm, but not 100% because I wanted to be there with the team, I wanted to feel that excitement for winning, that feeling that makes everyone happy that makes you feel like a champion. I feel like a champion as a team, but not as an individual. 

I do some really weird faces when I play ;(

This week with the injury and everything I have had a lot of time to think about me, I have been thinking about what a great opportunity I have, not only for my education but for my future, for soccer, for everything that you could imagine. My mom is always saying that I'm blessed because God has never left my side, and I agree with her, but sometimes I stop and think about if people are destined to be blessed or to suffer if they suffer, what they have done to deserve that suffering. Also, I read a book called Mercy Rule, it has been the best book I've read this year. I don't really like reading but once in a while, I do it, to try to improve a little bit my writing skills. 

I really recommend this book 

With all this time I had this week I've felt nostalgic, I really miss how everything was in high school, my country, my friends, soccer, classmates, everything, but I guess that after every sacrifice we have a reward, I can't see what mine is yet. I haven't traveled this year and I really want to go Islas de la bahia in Honduras, with my family. Also, I even wanted to change my haircut to Mason Mount's because I really like his hair and because he's also a soccer player. Another interesting thing about the week was that the artist Lil nas X dropped his new album and to be honest I feel that I connect with it, some people don't like his music, and I'm not really a fan of him but sometimes his lyrics hit me hard and sometimes I see him as the coolest person in the world, and sometimes I wanna be like him too in the way that he's not afraid of what people said, he is just being him. I feel sometimes I wanna be like someone else, and I feel that it is not correct, I should not try to be like someone else, I should try to make everyone be like me, because I wanna inspire people to find their own way, to find themselves, but how can I help someone to find themselves when I haven't found my self yet. I feel that my purpose is not clear yet when most people that I know seem to have found their purpose, but I don't know how to find mine. Everyone has a purpose in life, but how do we find it? 

                                                      

I truly believe that luck has nothing to do with it, how successful you are gonna be because I think success is reached through hard work. However, some people say you are really lucky to be where you are, and I don't think that is appropriate to say, because people that really work hard don't like hearing about luck but about what they have been through to be where they are. I believe that everyone builds their own way to success because that's what they are destined to be successful but they're destined to be successful because they work hard what while everyone is sleeping they are working hard. 

I believe that you build your own path because you can't follow the same path as others because people say I wanna be like him or her when I believe that it is worn to think in that way because you have to be you, see the world in your own way.  People should be the best version of themselves and not just be a copy of other people. We all follow someone like famous or someone in our family and we say, " I wanna be like him or her" and there is nothing wrong with it, but I believe that people should like stars, everyone shines in their own way. 

Most people say no one is perfect. 
I say everyone is perfect in their own way. 

Diiferent Eyes, Different Stories

 

Hello guys My name is Jose Palma but my friends call me Josesito. This is my first year at GCC and I'm really excited because I also play soccer for GCC and this is a new experience for me. However, when I'm with my friends we play volleyball. I'm a really shy person and sometimes I don't know how to express myself, so If you feel that I'm talking too much or that I don't talk at all is not because I don't want to, is because I'm scared of talking to people I'm from Honduras where I used to live with my grandparents and I moved to the U.S 4 years ago and now I live with my parents, my cousin and my cat. One of the traditional foods from Honduras and my favorite one are the Baleadas which I used to eat almost every day.

Looks like a burrito or a quesadilla but it tastes better ;)

One of my goals for this year is to get to know my teammates for soccer and get to know more classmates and have more friends, and have good grades, and have fun this year. Another goal that I have for the future is being a pro soccer player, play for a professional team here in the U.S, 

and also play in another country. My favorite team here in the

U.S is the Inter de Miami FC and the reason why this is my favorite team is that his president was one of the best soccer players in the world and he is my favorite retired soccer player David Beckham. 

I have met lots of people since I arrived here, really nice people, I have made really good friends and I'm really grateful for that. However, some people that I have met think that I'm very lucky for what I have, for how my life is, they say that I'm the most fortunate kid they have ever met. Which is something that I kinda agree with them but is something that I'm not proud of. You might wonder why? and to be honest, is because I feel that I don't deserve it. I believe that you receive what you work for,  and I haven't done anything to deserve it, and every time I feel like this when people tell me how fortunate I'm. I wanna work for what I have, I work hard to try to deserve the life that I have, because most guys that come from Honduras are working, struggle to have a decent lifestyle and that's why many people immigrate from Honduras.

I really work hard to make my parents proud, to make them see that I really appreciate what they have done for me and my parents know that. However, sometimes I feel that the work I do is not enough, because people that know my story but don't know me, think that I have an easy life and that's where I feel bad because I start thinking about how many people wish they could have a decent life. Those people really struggle and work hard for it, but I didn't do it. In my eyes, I have to really work hard to deserve what I have but to other people, I just have to relax and wait for everything to come to me. 

I don't want people to see me as a lucky guy from Honduras, I want people to know me for what I have done, for my work, for my discipline. I want people to see me as a guy that uses the opportunities he has to make his family proud, to let them see that I really appreciate their hard work, the sacrifice, and the time they have put into me. Every story is unique, every story has different meanings and different feelings that they express. 

What I want my story to express or the message I want people to get is that there might be lucky people, but there are people who work hard to deserve what they already have, to be worth of what they have received, because there are people that we don't know, that maybe we might never meet, that deserves much more than what they have, because they work hard, and don't stop and think about how lucky other people are, and just keep going.