Everyone is looking at us

 This week the GCC soccer team made the playoffs, and that is something that has not happened in the last 10 years. Everyone on the team is really excited and they are working hard to have a good development in the playoffs.  Our coach says that he knew this going to happen and that the playoff is just the first step because he is respecting more things from us, he says that the teams can easily make it to Nationals, and that is our goal for this year. The teams that we have played with said that we have a great team, but there are some people that thinks that this was just luck, that we played against easy teams, but the reality is that we had a rough season, we had a tough time but thanks to those fails, we became a stronger and better team. 

To be honest, I haven't played much this season, but that is something that doesn't bother me because I rather not play much if it means that the team will have a performance. There are some people from outside that say that I wasn't important for the team, but I believe that if I was not important for the team, I would not be here. They see me as not an important part of the team, but I see myself as part of a family, without me the team would not be the same, it doesn't mean that I'm the best player, but someone who is important for everyone on the team. 

I see myself having a good season, even when sometimes I'm not 100% ready mentally to play or to be with the team because sometimes that happens to me, I lose concentration really easily when it comes to important events. If someone ever reads this, what do you do to concentrate before an important event? That would really help me a lot. 

What I do before an important event is just listen to music and eat my favorite chips Zambos which is a typical chip from Honduras. Being an athlete that is not that good but sometimes because I'm nervous I don't know what to do. Some people say that I should clear my mind and just mentally see myself at the event, doing great, and having a positive mindset, but sometimes I don't know how to do it. This has affected me a lot because sometimes I don't get called up because I am not mentally ready, and that is something that I would like to change. 

Sometimes this makes me have a negative mindset, even sometimes some of my teammates think that I might not be good enough to be there, but I just try to ignore that and just try to do my best to show them that I deserve to be with them. Some of them think that I'm lucky to be there, but I think is not luck but hard work and discipline, because before coming to play soccer I just wanted to focus on my career, but the coach told me that I have talent, that I might not be the best, that I might have to work twice as hard to be important in the team. Now I just try to ignore what everyone says and just try my best, even when sometimes I do things wrong I blame myself, and punish myself, and some people around me just tell me to forget about it and just try again, and that has been the best advice that someone has told me this week. Even though I'm happy for the team, I'm not happy because I feel that I was not important to achieve that goal, but that's is something that I have to learn how to overcome. 

Trying to Improve

 These past few weeks have been good, I'm not going to say they were the best, but I would say they were okay. Since last week, I have to take my cousin to his job, because he sold his car, and now I have to give him a ride, sometimes it is annoying because he wakes me up at 5 in the morning which sometimes is really stressful, but we get along really well, so we have a good time on the way to his job. We talk a lot, and we have trust in each other, and that's why we talk about our lives, our future, and things like that. Lately, we have been talking a lot about how our lives were in Honduras because we didn't live together or we were not as close as we are now, and how our lives changed when we came here. 

This time we came out with the same topic of how lucky I'm but this time I percept something different when he told me that, I felt that he wanted to make me see that I have everything I need and that I don't be chasing things that I don't need. For example, he told me that why would I be looking for a girlfriend when I don't need it, and I believe that is true. He says that I have an amazing house, amazing parents, a good car, why would I be chasing something that is not my dream. The words that he told changed my mindset, I could say that I see things a little differently.

Lately, I have been looking for different things, but I never stopped to think about if they were the right things to look for. Since then, I stopped looking for what I wanted and now I'm looking for what I need to complete my goal. Now I try to focus on the things that should really matter to me like school, and soccer, that's everything I need to be focus on because I need to add to complete my goal and for example, a relationship instead of adding will be stopping or subtracting from achieving my goal because it will take time and concentration that I could be used on the school. 

I have been trying to concentrate more in classes and while I work on my assignments but it is been hard lately but my mom told me a method to relax and improve my productivity which is called deep breathing. In the beginning, I thought that it would not work, but I tried and it actually did, instead of stressing because  I didn't know something, I didn't worry about it, I just started thinking and if nothing didn't come to my mind I just let it go until I find out something to come with. I'm not that type of person, every time I have a problem I want to solve it at that moment. My mom also made me read again, to release stress she said, my favorite writer, is John Green and my favorite book from him is The Fault In Our Stars, and to be honest I would recommend it 100%. 

Yesterday my mom did pupusas and they were amazing, I'm not gonna lie, my mom makes the best food ever. That food made my day better yesterday because I was mad because we lost a game on Monday, and I felt bad and sad, but at the end of the day, my mom turned my whole bad day, into an amazing one. I believe that even when I have bad days there is always one person that will try to make me see that not everything is dark, that I chose to be happy, and that improving is not something that I have to do, is something that I chose to do, because I decide who I'm and who I will be, no matter how negative my mindset is, improving is always an option.